After

After you screamed at me for the very first time

I couldn’t bring myself to sleep that night.

My eyes were burning open like flames only just trying to stay awake.

My heart ached with a pain I can’t begin to explain.

After your words burned into my brain I couldn’t stop thinking with fear and apprehensiveness.

I started to overthink of what else you might do, knowing that I’m not even in a relationship with you.

I started to think of years to come and all of what you could’ve done.

What if one day you raise your hand and strike me down onto the land.

I’ll lie there in tears then you’ll apologize, but what if I don’t want that in life?

I’m scared of love and I’m scared of abuse, but all I want to do is hug you.

My heart longs for affection but it feels like an infection.

I’ll never stand for abuse, especially not from someone I knew.