Kicked out into cold nights,
No plan, just frost on my breath and silence in my chest.
I learned quick how the world forgets you
When you’ve got nothing but a hoodie and a cigarette.
I watched the stars blink,
Like they didn’t care I was alive.
Just a boy,
Just a name no one said with love anymore.
---
[Chorus – Sung slowly]
I don’t wanna wake up in the morning,
But I do.
And that’s the curse.
I’m not happy.
I’m not sad.
Just numb, like it can’t get worse.
If they ask—I lie.
Say I’m fine,
But I’m breaking on the inside.
Still here…
Just a boy.
Still breathing.
Don’t know why.
---
[Verse 2 – Rap, slow and heavy]
Katherine had hands like hurricanes,
Love laced with threats and glass.
She'd scream,
Throw vodka like it was holy water,
And I drank just to feel less like myself.
I was her punching bag, her shadow, her mess,
Now I flinch at the sound of kindness,
Don’t trust silence—it feels like a setup.
For the Ride showed up when no one else did,
Engines roaring like a war cry,
That group?
Saved me more times than I can count.
They saw me.
Not a victim, not weak—
Just a survivor with scars for skin.
---
[Bridge – Spoken, cold tone]
I asked how much force it takes to break the skin—
Not ‘cause I want to die,
But ‘cause I’ve thought about it more than sleep.
Blade under the pillow,
Bottle on the floor.
Still blinking.
Still breathing.
Still unsure what for.
---
[Chorus – Sung again, voice cracking]
I don’t wanna wake up in the morning,
But I do.
And it hurts every time.
I’m not happy.
I’m not sad.
I just wear this face like it’s mine.
If they ask—I laugh.
Say I’m strong.
Say I’ve healed.
But the truth’s been gone too long.
Still here…
Just a boy.
Still broken.
Still wrong.
---
[Outro – Whispered]
You can drown in a bath or a bottle,
But somehow I float.
2AM and still breathing.
And maybe…
That’s the note.
