Dear Andrew,
I love you, you are my best friend and always will be. You are closer than a (my) brother(s). Most memories I have worth remembering after we met, involve you. I think about you everyday even when we don’t talk. Whether I want to or not I don’t remember a day where you don’t cross my mind (sometimes when we’re at odds it’s not always nice thoughts). When we have been at odds, I still quickly remember that I don’t care a bout petty shit when it comes to you (especially). Our friendship is bigger than all of the many exciting, scary, sad, joyful, angry, episode shit (not sure who wins that one we’ve both worked hard for that shit lol). Gaming, movies, camping, mindful exploration, the old dirt road, popin caps, longboarding, snorkeling in the pool, driving a 4-wheeler to your house for a few bevs from abbeville and on and on
You have gone through something so difficult. I was there. I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t drive into the golf course and take you to the e.r. I couldn’t jump in front of you going down parking garages in Charleston. I could just try my best to be what I needed to be. I think I failed. sometimes I feel like it was my fault. I know it’s weird to even admit that. It’s not to diminish how much harder I know it was for you, it’s just how I’ve felt/feel sometimes and I know that’s silly but it happens and I’m trying to be honest idk lol
I don’t want to bring that stuff up anymore. It’s terrible and sucks and is sad. But it doesn’t define you. Anyone who knows you, knows how much you care about people.
I haven’t been great. I have been great and I’m trying to change it. I feel like I’ve lost every person who has made me feel like me. Like I intentionally pushed some away because I thought it’s what they wanted or like I should get it out of the way kinda thing. Ive allowed a business I chose to start to justify being a dick because (it fr fr does suck dicks).
