The sadness in my heart just seems to continue to grow. That mother fuker, just wont let it go. So I end up again on the bathroom floor, Locking myself in, slouched by the bathroom door. Instead of barricading, I am making more holes on the walls. To match my heart eaten away by lifes nasty sores. Society got me at its strongest sin, all the while I got on my sneer grin. Its enough to make me want to slit my wrists, but then I try to to think about my innocent kids. But often times Its hard to see, with all that's amidst. Its draining always fighting, surges of not always feeling being pissed. Trying to center the state of feeling inner bliss, But that is all just a myth. A fairy tale that don't fukin exist. I'd never thought I'd be in such a place of mental restraints. Probably the reason I stay all day baked. All day we talk about nothing but mistakes and many people still choose to be fake. Beyond ugliness, believing there's a source. Even with ungrateful street with black hearts are in full force. Enforsed with the lack of any remorse. Yet forces me to continue to believe theres a purposefill course. Praying to God, hoping that he sends some reinforce. Is that my imagination? Maybe I'm still faded. Or my theoretically words is useful resource. All we know for sure is, everything is a lie of course! Grasping at virtues of hope with no proof. Instead I cant help, but try resist feeling spoofed. This is my truth.
I got many answers, but with no reason for my responses. Logic I cant explain, so I often blame the human conscience. Season after season, I've never really been in the right mental state. But who's really to say anymore. Judgments made by states or saints. I don't know between what's happiness and what to feel. I just know today, right now, the world still evolves in all the ordeal. And will continue evolving, even as I scream and squeal. I can only allow it to. Cuz every single day, my instincts and logic teach me knowledge about this fluke. We are in a Rubix cube. I can never change who I am and what is my character. Maybe I just have to get rid of u. I just don't know how to. My mania of highs and lows hit like rodeo. Even tho I'm the intermission clown in this scenario. Whether I overcome it or not and just like the rest, this too shall pass. Not understanding the point of overcoming this skill of strength against resistance of a love that doesnt show it back. Tapping at the glass to see who cracks. Its human nature. That's a scientific and census fact. I feel all types of way, complicated and cant escape. off the high feeling of half of me wanting to jump off a skyscrapes. And the other half wanting me to prove blind Faith. --Like nah old lady. I know I can escalate. The better half cant lose. to my other half, Miss Half Baked. I barely make it as a human being. but I continue to strengthen my mental well bein. I love myself but loathe my life. I dont know what I believe. All I kno is how I wanna feel.
Energy is the only thing rea
