Forgot How to Be Me (But I Walk Anyway)

I don’t feel safe in this bed…

But I still lie in it.

I’ve forgotten how to be me—

But I still wake up trying.

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As I walk through this life, I might fall, I might stumble

Try to make friends with the pain—’cause it keeps me humble

Breathe in deep, tell the sea all my sins

Let it take what hurts, let the new day begin

But I don’t feel safe in my skin

These voices crawl like vines within

Kingdom turned to rust and gold to ash

I forgot who I was in the crash

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I said oh… I can’t breathe

Too many ghosts where my dreams used to be

All I know is I forgot how to be me

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Over and over we go

Through the valleys too dark to show

And it follows me, follows me home

But I walk anyway—I walk alone

With my pain like a crown

Let the storms beat me down

Still I rise like a hymn in the rain

I’m not whole, but I remain

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Closure on this rollercoaster

I’m a poster child, bipolar

With a smokin’ motor

No controller

Soldier with a broken holster

But I walk—yeah, I walk

Through the fear, through the chalk outlines

Bruised walls and breathin’ floors

But these chains? Not mine

They say I lost my touch

Like love rotted in my clutch

But sadness carved me open wide

Now I hold light and shadow inside

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Hallelujah—where is my God, where are you?

Hallelujah—nothing is pulling me through

But I still breathe

I still bleed

I still walk

Even when I forget how to be me

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Over and over we go

(Oh, and it follows me home)

Through fire and fear and shadows below

(Still I walk though I don’t know)

With every stumble, I learn to believe

That even broken people… can be free

So I walk anyway

Yeah—I walk anyway

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Maybe I forgot how to be me…

But I haven’t forgotten how to try.