Barely Holding On

Sink in the mattress

Phone face down, but it still flashes

Think I know who it is

Think I’d break if I read those fragments

Mom calling, I let it ring

Can’t explain what I can’t name

I’ve been praying to the ceiling

But it just stares back the same

I’ve been barely holding on

White knuckles on this day

Everybody thinks I’m strong

They don’t see me break

If I say that I’m “all good”

That’s the mask, that’s the play

I’ve been barely holding on

Don’t know how to fade this pain

Friends say, “pull up, we outside”

I say “maybe,” then I lie

Stare at the closet like it’s heavy

Can’t even choose what I should wear to survive

Old texts like landmines

Scroll, stop, breathe, rewind

Every “love you” feel like glass now

Cut deep, but I keep them as a shrine

I don’t want advice

I just need a shoulder that ain’t scared of my silence

I don’t want a fix

I just need someone that can sit inside the violence

If I disappear from your feed

Will you notice I’m gone, or just keep scrolling by me?