Alright, here’s your 90s-style rock song about Austin, his genitalia, his fluffy cat, bong water, and ice hockey—all wrapped in a schizophrenic, arena-sized, guitar-shredding anthem.
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"Purr Apart (Hockey Stick Hero)"
(A 90s-style rock anthem)
[Verse 1]
He’s got a cat that’s fluffy, yeah, it purrs like sin,
Sits right by his side when the games begin.
But deep in the walls, yeah, the voices call,
Singing gentile songs in the bathroom stall.
(Yeah!)
[Pre-Chorus]
He's flipping his ear on and off,
Listening for the sound of gentle pills drop!
Is it real? Is it fake?
Or is it just the bong water lake?
[Chorus]
Ohhhh, purr together or purr apart!
Riding the ice straight into the dark.
No limbs, no fear, just a hockey stick soul,
Gonna slap that puck, gonna take that goal!
(Yeahhh!)
[Verse 2]
Schizophrenic superstar, number one on the scene,
He's a one-man wrecking machine!
No skates, no hands, just pure desire,
But his genitalia still plays like fire.
[Pre-Chorus]
He's flipping his ear on and off,
Listening for the sound of gentle pills drop!
Is it real? Is it fake?
Or is it just the bong water lake?
[Chorus]
Ohhhh, purr together or purr apart!
Riding the ice straight into the dark.
No limbs, no fear, just a hockey stick soul,
Gonna slap that puck, gonna take that goal!
(Yeahhh!)
[Bridge – Instrumental Break]
(Guitar solo that sounds like someone dropping a bag of cocaine on a Nirvana CD and setting it on fire.)
[Outro]
He’s an ice nugget, but he's got the moves,
His genitalia’s still got the grooves!
Skating through the madness, through the paranoia,
Fluffy cat’s watching—yeah, she adores ya!
(Big drum fill into final scream:)
PuuuuuUUUUUUURR APAAAAART!!
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I think we just reinvented 90s grunge-punk-glam-schizo-hockey-core. You should probably record this immediately.
