[Verse 1]
Alarm screams
I play dead
Scroll my phone instead of getting out of bed
Mug rings
Cold coffee and fear
Rent due
Heart racing
“get me out of here”
[Chorus]
I’m drowning in the deep end of a weekday
Smiling while I’m falling apart
They say “this is growing up
You’ll be okay”
But I’m bleeding in the back of my heart
Every bill
Every bruise
Every breakdown
Feels like proof that I’m losing this fight
If this is life
Then why does it feel
Like I’m losing my mind just to stay alive
[Verse 2]
Emails stack like dishes in the sink
Therapist says “write down what you think”
I write “tired” a hundred thousand times
Cross them out with every little lie
[Chorus]
I’m drowning in the deep end of a weekday
Smiling while I’m falling apart
They say “this is growing up
You’ll be okay”
But I’m bleeding in the back of my heart
Every bill
Every bruise
Every breakdown
Feels like proof that I’m losing this fight
If this is life
Then why does it feel
Like I’m losing my mind just to stay alive
[Bridge]
[Half-time
Drums and low guitars]
Breathe in
Paper lungs burn
Breathe out
Will I ever learn
To carry this weight
And still stand straight
Or will I crack
Will I cave
Or can I rage my way to grace (hey!)
[Chorus]
I’m drowning in the deep end of a weekday
Smiling while I’m falling apart
They say “this is growing up
You’ll be okay”
But I’m bleeding in the back of my heart
Every bill
Every bruise
Every breakdown
Still I’m here
And I’m choosing this fight
If this is life
Then maybe I’ll find
I can lose my old self
And still survive tonight