Before the Dawn

Patiently watched as nightfall came

I’ve learned how to pass for tame

I don’t stalk the streets like before

But the hunger still wants more

Your name burns white on the screen

I’ve broken better things than this machine

Centuries taught me how to hide

Not how to quiet what lives inside

I’ve torn men apart for less than doubt

Now I count my breaths, ride it out

If I sound controlled, it’s not peace

It’s a leash

So hit send before the urge breaks through

Before I remember what I used to do

I won’t show up at your door

I don’t play that game anymore

I’m trying to be something clean for you

But I’m carved from older truths

If you want the man, not the animal in me

Hit send before the dawn

I used to take love like conquest gold

Proper celebrations, blood and old

I’ve traded crowns for a low-lit room

I made my bed inside a glass-lit tomb

Your voice still stays my hand

Still pulls me back from where I stand

You don’t hear the things I don’t say

The names of the dead, the debts I’ve paid

I’ve lived through eras built on blood

I know how easy it is to give up

Every second I don’t cross that line

Is a fight

So hit send before the urge breaks through

Before instinct tells me what to do

I don’t need an invitation inside

I need you secure on the other side

I want you soft, I want you safe

Not another sin I have to erase

If you want the man I’m trying to be

Hit send before the dawn

I still dream in teeth and fire

In the few hours when I retire

Romance wasn’t bred in me

I learned it watching silently

I don’t kneel, I don’t beg

I choose restraint, not regret

If I reach for you at all

It’s because I want control

So hit send while the night stays black

Lest I revert to my old plans of attack

No roses, no ancient oath

Just messages tempting us both

I could take—I’ve always known how

But I want to be someone else right now

If you want love that still has scars

Hit send before the dawn

The sky lightens. I don’t

A message stills the hunger

Until the night comes back around