Yo Sun, you loud as hell, always in the way
Big bloated narcissist, hoggin’ up the day
You out here actin’ like the center of it all
But we just stuck in orbit, watchin’ your ego ball
You burn through hydrogen like it’s free promethazine
Then flex on the ‘Gram with that corona glow-up scene
Corona? Bro, that’s just your bad hairline flarin’
Every photosphere pic look like you’re barely breathin’
You hot? Yeah, you hot… but you basic
Same yellow filter every pic, no variation
Actin’ like you shine for us, nah you shine for clout
Whole solar system payin’ light bill, you just out here bein’ loud
You roast Mercury daily, call that “tough love”?
That lil rocky shorty got third-degree burns from above
Venus? You cooked her so bad she runnin’ greenhouse
Now she 900° depressed with permanent mood
Earth over here dodgin’ your UV tan beams
While you out here gassin’ up climate change memes
You the original toxic ex, can’t let go
Still tryna hit us with flares every few years, bro
You 4.6 billion years old and still no personality
Just fusion and radiation, zero adaptability
Got eight planets ghostin’ you in elliptical silence
Only Pluto still talk to you… and that’s out of compliance
Yeah you massive, 99.8% of the mass in the crew
But percentage don’t mean personality, that’s just volume, fool
You’ll red giant out in five bil, bloat up and die slow
Swallow Mercury, Venus, probably Earth on the low
Then what? Planetary nebula, just cosmic ash
A white dwarf corpse flexin’ like “I used to be flash”
So keep shinin’, king… we’ll be out here survivin’
While you slowly cook yourself, quietly declinin’
Sun… you bright, I’ll give you that
But you basic, you predictable, and your mixtape wack
Take several seats behind the heliopause line
We good over here… enjoy your own sunshine.
