Collector

Woke up this morning, checked my phone

(Bad idea.)

Bank account sittin’ on negative and alone

(Colder than my ex’s heart.)

Ramen boilin’, rent two weeks late

Landlord knockin’ like he got a key to my fate

(I ain’t home, bro.)

I tiptoe in socks full of holes

Tryna stretch a dollar like it’s made of gold

Fridge got nothin’ but a single slice of cheese

And an old ketchup packet I might just freeze

(Ketchup popsicle, anyone?)

⸻

Every time I rise, life grabs my ankle

Tried to treat myself, but my card said “Cancel”

Phone blowin’ up — Sallie Mae won’t chill

She callin’ me like we friends — girl, pay ya own bill

(We ain’t cool like that!)

⸻

Tell the bill collector I ain’t home

(Gone ghost!)

If they ask ’bout payment, leave me alone

(Lose my number!)

Workin’ two jobs, still can’t rest

Just got ambition and a whole lotta stress

(Dreams don’t pay rent — yet!)

⸻

Gas light blinkin’, car sayin’ “nah”

Walkin’ to work like it’s a spa

Shoes talkin’ back with every step

But pride won’t let me ask for help

(Loud shoes, too.)

Microwave broke, so I steam my meals

With hot shower water and hope that heals

Ate cereal with a fork last night

No milk, no spoon — but I still had fight

(Innovation, baby!)

⸻

They say God don’t give you more than you can bear

But I think He testing how much broke I can wear

Pocket full of lint, mind full of praise

I’m tryna laugh through these hungry days

(Got joy and an appetite.)

⸻

Tell the bill collector I ain’t home

(Moved to “Don’t Call Me” Lane.)

If they ask ’bout payment, leave me alone

(Left the chat!)

Workin’ two jobs, still can’t rest

Just got ambition and a whole lotta stress

(Faith over finance!)

⸻

Doorbell rings — I hide, it’s my fate

Landlord + repo man? Ain’t this great

But wait — a man steps up, fur coat, gold rings

Says, “I’m your uncle — I just hit big!”

(Say what now?!)

He said, “Pack your bags, you movin’ with me”

I said, “Hold on — let me grab this cheese”

(Don’t leave the good slice behind!)

⸻

Tell the bill collector I’m at home

(Matter fact, tell ‘em I bought they loan!)

If they ask ’bout payment — paid in full

Now I eat good, sleep deep, pockets full

(Won’t He do it!)

Used to be broke, now I testify

God flipped my struggle, now I’m fly

(In a robe with AC blasting!)

⸻

To everybody still countin’ coins at the gas pump…

Keep yo’ head up — your Uncle Jerome might be next