two zero one four

We met back in twenty-fourteen, fate said “go”

You flirted first — just so you know 😏

From movie nights and Thai food feasts

To fart symphonies under the sheets 💨

You take forever just to drop a poop

But hey, you’re mine, and you’re kinda cute

Ohhh, lucky you, babe — let’s tell the truth

You bagged a man who fake-pinch-crabs on your leg

You love me weird, and I love you back

Even when you’re slow in the toilet track

So cheers to that first flirty cue

’Cause damn, babe — you’re lucky I chose you

You love me for me — no filter, no mask

Even when I’m dramatic? You don’t even ask

You love me loud, love me odd

Love me dancing to Blackpink

Ohhh, lucky you, babe — you really scored

I’m Daddy Crab AND your emotional support lord. I love you to the moon and back you are the best person ever.

Ohhh, lucky you — don’t even pretend

I’m your crab prince, your weird-ass guy

And lucky me for saying yes

To the guy who loves me at my mess

Here’s to poop breaks, farts, and love

We’re weird as hell — and that’s enough ❤️

You flirted first, and now look who’s stuck…

Forever mine.