Grand Theft Soap

(Intro)

Soap! It’s slippery, sudsy gold!

I snatch it up, crime uncontrolled!

Don’t need a getaway van,

Just hot water and my two hands.

(Verse 1)

Soap! Get it while it’s fresh and clean,

Swipe it quick before they’ve seen!

Hand it off, no prints remain,

Lather up—no guilt, no shame.

(Chorus)

Soap! It’s slippery, sudsy gold!

I snatch it up, crime uncontrolled!

Don’t need a getaway van,

Just hot water and my two hands.

(Verse 2)

Foam! Bubble trails mark my heist,

The bathroom's now my paradise.

Hotels fear me, stores lock tight,

No bar of soap survives my might!

(Bridge - Instrumental break with intense soapy scrubbing sounds)

(Chorus)

Soap! It’s slippery, sudsy gold!

I snatch it up, crime uncontrolled!

Don’t need a getaway van,

Just hot water and my two hands.

(Final Verse)

Soap! No trace left behind,

Wash the evidence! Cleanse the crime!

No handcuffs, no locked-up fate,

‘Cause I’m the CLEANEST reprobate!

(Final Chorus)

Soap! It’s slippery, sudsy gold!

I snatch it up, crime uncontrolled!

Don’t need a getaway van,

Just hot water and my two hands!