Still Not Yours

[Verse 1]
Eight years old
Door half closed
Cartoons loud
House so cold
His steps slow
My heart froze
He said "game"
I said "no"
Hands on wrists
Breath so stale
I left my body
Watched myself
Counted cracks
In the wall
Told my dolls
It was my fault
Family dinner
He says grace
Everyone laughing
I hide my face
They call him kind
They call me shy
I learn to shrink
I learn to lie
[Chorus]
But I was still not yours
Never yours, never yours (no)
You wrote your name on my skin
But you don't own my soul
You took what you could take
Left me shaking on that floor
But even when I broke in pieces
I was still not yours
[Verse 2]
Fifteen, first love
Thought it was safe
Shared my secrets
Shared my shame
Told him everything
How I was used
He kissed my cheek
Said "I'm not him, I choose
To treat you right"
I chose to trust
Met his friends
Sat in the truck
Music loud
Jokes too thick
One locked door
Hands too quick
Three faces
Blending in
Someone laughing
Someone filming
Tore my shirt
Tore my "no"
Turned my body
To a show
Afterwards
He lit a smoke
Said "don't cry
It was just a joke"
Walked me home
Like nothing wrong
Left me rotting
In that dawn
[Chorus]
But I was still not yours
Never yours, never yours (never)
You carved your hunger in me
Like I was open doors
You took what you could take
Left me bleeding, calling "Lord"
But even when I couldn't speak it
I was still not yours
[Bridge]
They say "why'd you go there?"
"Why'd you wear that?"
"Why'd you stay?"
"Why come back?"
Every question
Points at me
Not at the hands
Not at the teeth
I scrub my skin
Till it burns
Like I can wash off
Every word
I see his face
In every crowd
I flinch at footsteps
Little sounds
But in the mirror
Every day
I learn new sentences
To say:
My body, my story
My choice, my voice (yeah)
You stole some chapters
But you don't own the girl
[Chorus]
I was still not yours
Never yours, never yours (no more)
You wrote your shame into me
But I rewrite the score
You took what you could take
Left me shaking on that floor
I gather every broken piece and
You are still not
Still not yours

rap, Moody, minor-key trap-soul with female vocals; close-mic whisper-rap in the verses over sparse piano stabs and a deep, slow-bouncing groove, 70–80 BPM. Choruses bloom with airy harmonies and swelling pads, kick and subbass pushing harder. Occasional pitched-down ad-libs and filtered drums in the bridge for a claustrophobic, confessional feel; final chorus strips to piano and voice for a raw, unresolved outro., female vocals