I Wasn’t Ready to Be This Brave

I didn’t plan for this…

It just happened anyway.

⸻

We met when everything felt fragile,

Like one wrong move could ruin it all.

We laughed like the future didn’t exist,

Like I wasn’t already afraid to fall.

Your hand brushed mine in the dark,

And my heart forgot how to behave.

I memorized the sound of your name,

Then swallowed it on the way home.

⸻

I started lying about where I was,

Just to keep us breathing a little longer.

I started deleting messages,

Like love was something dangerous.

I practiced answers in my head,

Afraid they’d ask the wrong question.

Every glance felt loaded with meaning,

Like they already knew my confession.

⸻

Everyone’s watching, even in silence,

Every pause feels like a test.

I’m trying to grow in crowded rooms

That don’t leave space for who I am.

⸻

I love you, but I’m scared to say it loud,

Like the word itself might break me.

I love you, but the world feels heavy now,

Like it’s waiting to correct me.

I’m not wrong, I’m just young,

Trying to stand without a guide.

Caught between who I am

And who they’re asking me to hide.

⸻

My family asks when I’ll “grow out of it,”

Like this is something small.

My friends joke just to keep it light,

But they don’t see me fall.

They say love should be easy,

That it shouldn’t hurt like this.

But they’ve never loved in shadows,

Or learned how to exist like this.

⸻

What if loving you costs everything?

What if losing you costs more?

Why does choosing something real

Feel like starting a war?

⸻

I’m not confused about you.

I’m confused about the world.

About why something this real

Has to hurt just to be heard.

⸻

I don’t know how to fight them all,

I barely know myself yet.

But I know this isn’t pretend,

And I know this isn’t regret.

If this is young, let it be honest,

If this is hard, let it be mine.

I’m scared, I’m stressed, I’m learning slowly,

And that has to count this time.

⸻

I’m still here…

Even if I don’t know how.

(music fades gently)