Sabotage When It’s Safe

[Verse 1]
Every time it’s good, I get nervous
Check the locks on the doors I built on purpose
New job, new love, sunshine in my chest
Then I’m scrolling through the worst-case, wrecking all my rest
Pick a fight on a Sunday (for nothing)
Leave texts on “read” by Monday (I’m running)
Ghost my friends when they call to celebrate
Like I’m saving them the trouble of finding out I’m fake
Therapist says, “You’re allergic to joy”
I laugh it off, but that line hit a void
I keep waiting for a slap from the sky
So I swing first, then ask myself why
[Chorus]
Why do I sabotage when it’s safe?
Cut the rope right when I escape
Build a home then set it ablaze
Tell myself I like the flames
Why do I bail when I belong?
Mute my voice right in my song
But I’m looking in the mirror like, “Stop this”
Talking to myself like I’m the locksmith
“You deserve the love you chase”
“Let the good stay, let it take up space”
I’m giving out the best advice I’ve ever heard
From my own mouth, my own words
[Verse 2]
Act tough, act chill, play distant
Whole life lived in defense positions
If I’m hurting, at least I called it
If I lose first, I never lost it
But lately I’ve been catching my tricks
That twist in my gut, that flip of the switch
Pause, breathe, hands off the grenade
Ask, “If I liked me, what move would I make?”
Write it in my notes like a contract
“When you wanna vanish, text ‘I’ll be right back’”
“When you wanna run, take one more step”
Little rules I made to save myself
[Bridge]
[beat drops to soft piano, close vocal]
Talk to myself like I’m someone I’d save
Say the gentle things that I always gave away
If I’m kind to me the way I am to them
Maybe this is how a different story begins (yeah)
[Chorus]
Why do I sabotage when it’s safe?
Cut the rope right when I escape
Build a home then set it ablaze
Tell myself I like the flames
Why do I bail when I belong?
Mute my voice right in my song
But I’m looking in the mirror like, “Stop this”
Talking to myself like I’m the locksmith
“You deserve the love you chase”
“Let the good stay, let it take up space”
I’m giving out the best advice I’ve ever heard
From my own mouth, my own words (my own words)
Yeah, I’m setting my own heart in motion
From self-sabotage to self-devotion

rap, Hybrid pop-rap with moody piano over tight trap drums; first verse conversational in a close-mic whisper-rap, hook explodes with big synth pads and layered female vocals while 808s swell; second verse builds urgency with double-time pockets and ad-libs; bridge strips to piano and vocal before a final, triumphant chorus with brighter chords and lifted harmonies, pop, happy