[Verse 1]
Wake up, same ceiling
Peeling paint above my bed
Scroll my life in blue light
Feel nothing, just a weight in my chest
Who told me I could be happy?
’Cause that joke never lands on me
I wear a smile like a bad disguise
Till it cracks and cuts my cheeks
[Chorus]
I don’t know what happy feels like
Is it real, or did you all just lie?
I keep breaking just to feel right
Still convinced I’m not worth the try
If love is something you can touch
Guess these hands just turn it rust
I don’t know what happy feels like
But I know I’m not enough
[Verse 2]
You say, “You’re loved, you matter”
Those words slide off my skin
Like rain on dirty windows
I can’t let any of it in
Every mirror’s like a witness
To a crime I can’t describe
I’m the punchline at the party
I’m the stain you try to hide
[Chorus]
I don’t know what happy feels like
Is it warmth, or just a brighter sky?
I keep laughing at the wrong time
Just to prove I’m still alive
If love is something you can hold
Why does it slip right through my bones?
I don’t know what happy feels like
I just know I walk alone
[Bridge]
Tear at my skin
Like maybe there’s a reason buried underneath (underneath)
Shout at the walls
But all I ever hear is “you’re too weak” (too weak)
How do you heal
When you’re scared you don’t deserve the scar?
How do you reach
For a light you’ve only seen from far? (from far)
[Chorus]
I don’t know what happy feels like
Is it safe, is it ever quiet?
I keep begging just to feel right
Till my throat runs out of fight
If love is something more than luck
Why am I always coming up dust?
I don’t know what happy feels like
But I still wish I was enough