[Intro – Over smooth funky beat]
🎤 Yo... this one goes out... to the real MVP...
🎤 My mom... who gagged, but chose life.
🥂 Thanks, queen.
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[Verse 1]
Coulda been a stain on a hotel sheet,
Or a ghost in a sock, never felt my feet.
Coulda slid down your throat with no applause,
But you choked, spit bars, now here I are.
Life’s wild, man — I owe it to a moment,
Dad shot the shot, you gave it full atonement.
You coulda wiped, but instead you birthed,
Now I’m on the mic being dumb on Earth.
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[Chorus – sing like a gospel choir on acid]
🎶 Thank you mom — for not swallowin’ me!
🎶 Coulda been a puddle in obscurity!
🎶 Now I’m twerkin’ at a party, shot in hand,
🎶 ‘Cause you didn’t let me end up in a trashcan!
🎶 Thank you mom — for the trauma and rent,
🎶 For the “oops” that turned permanent!
🎶 I’m alive, slightly unhinged but free,
🎶 All because you didn’t swallow me!
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[Verse 2 – beat gets funkier]
Now I’m out here drinkin’ shots and yellin’ “YOLO,”
Living proof Plan B don’t always go solo.
I text my ex at 3AM like it’s fate,
All ‘cause you chose to marinate.
Dad had a smirk, you had regrets,
But here I am makin' friends and debts.
Coulda been a drip in a dentist napkin,
Now I’m in the club screamin' “What just happened?”
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[Bridge – whispered, sultry voice]
You didn’t swallow…
Didn’t spit…
Didn’t dodge, duck, dive, or quit…
You... went full hardcore.
Thanks, mom.
Now I’m an adult with credit card debt and anxiety.
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[Final Chorus – pure party chaos]
🎶 Thank you mom — for not swallowin’ me!
🎶 Coulda been nothin’ in a tissue tree!
🎶 Now I dance like my rent’s due tonight,
🎶 ‘Cause you picked “raise” over “swipe-wipe.”
🎶 Thank you mom — yeah you rolled the dice,
🎶 Gave birth to chaos (and it was kinda nice).
🎶 I’m weird, unstable, but technically free,
🎶 All because you didn’t swallow me!
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[Outro – autotuned, echoing into the abyss]
🎶 Spare a shot… for the near-misses…
🎶 The coulda-beens… in the abyss-es…
🎶 But not me... no not me...
🎶 ‘Cause mom said “nah”… and let it be...
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