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I walked into the bar and saw a pretty little thing,

Boots on her feet and a diamond nose ring.

I slid up smooth, thought I’d shoot my shot,

She said, “Name’s George.” I said, “No it’s not.”

She said, “Boy, are you deaf or just slow?”

I said, “I’m confused and it’s starting to show.”

The bartender laughed so hard he choked,

Said, “Buddy, that’s George, and no, this ain’t a joke.”

My girlfriend George ain’t what you’d expect,

Every introduction is a train wreck.

When she says her name, folks look around,

Trying to find some old man in town.

My girlfriend George, Lord help me please,

She causes confusion with ridiculous ease.

I’ve had less trouble with a mule named Steve,

Than explaining George every time we leave.

Went to meet my mama on a Sunday afternoon,

I said, “I’m bringing George, we’ll be there soon.”

Mama cooked enough food for a grown old man,

Then George walked in and ruined her whole plan.

Mama whispered, “Where’s George at?”

I pointed and said, “She’s wearing the cowboy hat.”

Mama stared so long I thought she’d freeze,

Then asked George if she wanted sweet tea, please.

My girlfriend George ain’t what you’d expect,

Every introduction is a train wreck.

When she says her name, folks look around,

Trying to find some old man in town.

My girlfriend George, Lord help me please,

She causes confusion with ridiculous ease.

I’ve had less trouble with a mule named Steve,

Than explaining George every time we leave.

Last week she ordered coffee at the drive-thru lane,

The girl at the speaker thought somebody was playing games.

She said, “Order for George,” and they handed her a wrench,

A senior discount card, and coupons for a bench.

Then a guy named Gary got mad as heck,

Said, “That’s my coffee!” and puffed out his neck.

George drank it anyway and laughed with delight,

Said, “Being named George keeps life exciting, right?”

My girlfriend George is a one-woman show,

Creating small disasters everywhere we go.

At this point I don’t even try to explain,

I just sit back and enjoy the pain.

My girlfriend George, she’s the queen of chaos,

Turns simple introductions into total loss.

And if we have a daughter, here’s my revenge course—

I’m naming that little girl “Bob,” of course!

Now the whole town laughs when we’re out on the town,

Cause George keeps turning common sense upside down.

And if you hear me yellin’ “George!” across the porch,

I’m either calling my girl… or borrowing a torch.