WHY AM I LIKE ThIS

WHY AM I LIKE THIS!

I wake up clenched

like I slept through a fight

Jaw tight

hands ready

for nothing and everything

Why am I like this

Silence feels loaded

Peace feels rented

Every calm moment

comes with fine print

I don’t flinch for drama

I flinch for memory

WHY DOES MY BODY

REMEMBER WHAT MY MOUTH WON’T SAY

WHY DOES MY HEART

BEAT LIKE IT’S ESCAPING

WHY DO I PREPARE FOR IMPACT

IN EMPTY ROOMS

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Breath tastes like iron

Thoughts move in straight lines

toward worst-case endings

I didn’t imagine

I observed

(Scream long, tearing)

I LEARNED TOO EARLY

AND I LEARNED TOO WELL

I SAW WHAT HAPPENS

WHEN HOPE GETS COMFORTABLE

I DON’T TRUST SOFT LANDINGS

I TRUST MY FEET

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

I don’t crumble

I lock in

I don’t heal pretty

I heal correct

Every scar still works

Nothing decorative

SCREAM (rhythmic, relentless)

I WAS BUILT

FOR WHAT BROKE OTHERS

I WAS SHAPED

BY WHAT THEY RAN FROM

I DON’T NEED SAVING

I NEED ROOM

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

WHY!

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

(FINAL SCREAM held, raw)

BECAUSE I SURVIVED

WITHOUT PERMISSION

AND LIFE

NEVER TAUGHT ME

HOW TO COME BACK

DOWN

I WAKE UP ANGRY

AND I DON’T KNOW AT WHO

I CARRY A FIRE

THAT DOESN’T KEEP ME WARM

I TRY TO SIT STILL

BUT MY NERVES PACE CIRCLES

LIKE THEY’RE WAITING

FOR BAD NEWS TO DROP

WHY DO I FEEL CORNERED

IN WIDE OPEN SPACES

WHY DOES MY NAME

SOUND LIKE A WARNING

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

I don’t remember choosing this

I remember adapting

Every lesson came loud

Every mistake stayed permanent

I DON’T RELAX

I STAND DOWN

I DON’T DREAM

I SCAN

I DON’T HOPE

I MEASURE DISTANCE

BETWEEN ME

AND DISAPPOINTMENT

SCREAM (rolling, breathless)

I’M NOT AFRAID OF DYING

I’M AFRAID OF GETTING SOFT

I’M AFRAID OF FORGETTING

WHAT HUNGER TAUGHT ME

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

I watched people fold

after they were told

they were safe

I watched mercy get used

as leverage

(SCREAM full rupture)

DON’T CALL IT DAMAGE

CALL IT TRAINING

CALL IT EVIDENCE

CALL IT SURVIVAL

WITH TEETH

I DON’T NEED PEACE

I NEED HONEST GROUND

(SCREAM slower, crushing)

I WASN’T RAISED BY LOVE

I WAS RAISED BY CONSEQUENCES

I WASN’T GIVEN TIME

I TOOK IT

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Final stretch — no relief

(FINAL SCREAM held until voice breaks)

BECAUSE LIFE HIT FIRST

AND NEVER SAID STOP

AND I LEARNED

THE ONLY WAY OUT

WAS

THROUGH