Nichole

When you lose your whole world, atleast for awhile,

there is nowhere to go..

you just float around in space screaming at the top of your lungs.. noone can hear you or feel your pain,

which is probably best..

you are so alone..

there is nothing,

including God,

that can fix this...

only me..

so I will have to learn to live with the despair..

and slowly I have.

They say that

people move on.

memories fade..

Everything will be better.

not for me.

I have no faith in anybody

God abandoned me

A long time ago

People say "trust in Him and he will show you, just pray"

Pray?... for what?

My posessions? I dont own nothin. He already reposessed my shit. I prayed for forgiveness that time.

Never got shit back

Pray for what?

..love? I already prayed and begged for him to save her and begged him to take my life instead

But he took her anyway. The worst fuckin day of my life.

God doesnt even like me..

So im not goin like him back

So..

my intuitions

when it comes to people, kind of take over.

Trust is out the door..

Flight is usually the first response.. and now..

in this tragedy of mine..

when I can't even trust God..

I'd rather shut out the entire world , than to burden anyone with my misery and darkness..

Just one wrong word could set me off..

damn triggers..

it hasn't happened yet

but I could imagine

I could become pretty volatile

if the conditions were right.

And with my unfortunate stream of bad luck,

it's high probability someone's gonna fuck around and find out...

Find peace in the love and support that surrounds you.

Try not to embrace the rage

and the turmoil

that has been your comfort because of your

desire for revenge.

Every bit of

negative

energy

he has poisoned you with

becomes ammunition.

Don't let him win.