[Intro — Spoken]
Okay…
I tried being mature.
I tried being understanding.
But at this point…
Wow.
[Verse 1]
You brought a spoon to a knife fight,
Wore sunglasses in the moonlight,
You said you had a master plan,
Written on the back of your own hand,
You lost your keys inside your pocket,
Tried to fix your phone with chocolate,
Every time you make a move,
I need a minute to process you,
[Pre-Chorus]
I’m not trying to be mean,
But this deserves a movie scene,
I watched you prove me wrong again,
Then prove me right by accident,
There’s only one thing left to say,
And I mean this in the nicest way…
[Chorus]
Seriously, you’re a hot mess,
How’d you even manage that?
Running full speed through the wrong door,
Then getting up and asking what happened for,
Seriously, you’re a hot mess,
But somehow you do it with class,
You’re a disaster, that’s the truth,
The world ain’t ready for someone like you,
Seriously, seriously,
You’re a hot mess to me,
[Verse 2]
You texted me “guess what I found,”
It was your phone that you were holding now,
You tried to whisper on speaker mode,
Took the wrong way on a one-way road,
You said “trust me, I’ve got this covered,”
That’s when everybody ran for cover,
You’re not unlucky, don’t be mad,
You’re just chaos dressed up in glam,
[Pre-Chorus 2]
It’s almost a talent honestly,
A beautiful catastrophe,
You break the rules you never read,
Then wonder what everyone said,
I’d give advice, but anyway,
You wouldn’t hear it when I say…
[Chorus]
Seriously, you’re a hot mess,
How’d you even manage that?
Running full speed through the wrong door,
Then getting up and asking what happened for,
Seriously, you’re a hot mess,
But somehow you do it with class,
You’re a disaster, that’s the truth,
The world ain’t ready for someone like you,
[Bridge — Big Emotional Fake-Out]
Nobody does it like you do,
Nobody trips over their own shoes,
Nobody turns a simple day,
Into a ten-part Broadway play,
And maybe that’s your special thing,
The chaos and the laughs you bring,
I’d miss the madness, that’s the truth…
But seriously…
How are you even you?
[Final Chorus]
Seriously, you’re a hot mess,
Never change, you’re iconic like that,
You’re a hurricane wearing perfume,
A little bit lost but you own the room,
Seriously, you’re a hot mess,
The kind of crazy that makes me laugh,
The world is weird and so are you…
Honestly?
I’m a hot mess too.
[Outro — Spoken]
Wait…
Did I just roast myself?
…Never mind.