Bare-Minimum Kingpin

Yeah… every warehouse got that one clown.

Talk big, work small.

This one’s for him.

⸻

Bare-minimum kingpin, crown made of duct tape,

Walk slow, talk loud, but never pull his weight.

Actin’ like the warehouse crumbles if he leaves,

Meanwhile he barely moves a pallet, barely breathes.

Always braggin’ like he’s seasoned, but he don’t know jack,

Every task he touches, I redo and take back.

Swear he’s God’s gift with bargain-bin pride,

Grind ain’t in him, effort not in his stride.

And he stomp ’round mad like an angry Happy Feet penguin,

Flappin’ his mouth ’cause he ain’t out there winnin’.

All that attitude but no workload in his hands —

Just a loud baby bird tryin’ to flex like a man.

⸻

You ain’t built like that — stop lyin’,

Weak link energy, no denyin’.

When I show up, productivity rises,

You show up, the whole floor freezes.

Real ones shine and frauds get exposed,

Pressure hits hard and your weakness shows.

Bare-minimum king, fake warehouse idol —

I’m the storm you fear, survival’s viral.

⸻

You walk in, nobody moves — energy dead,

I walk in, whole crew lifts their head.

You take breaks, take laps, take space,

I take problems, take pressure, take plates.

Every day you ghost tasks like they owe you rent,

Your whole shift’s a vacation never earned or spent.

You fold fast, talk tough but can’t show skill,

Got seniority swagger with trainee-level will.

Recognition don’t lie — they know who’s the spine,

I’m results, you’re excuses that don’t age fine.

While you chase praise you never deserve,

I’m the one keepin’ the workflow from swervin’.

⸻

You ain’t built like that — stop lyin’,

Weak link energy, no denyin’.

When I show up, productivity rises,

You show up, the whole floor freezes.

Real ones shine and frauds get exposed,

Pressure hits hard and your weakness shows.

Bare-minimum king, fake warehouse idol —

I’m the storm you fear, survival’s viral.

⸻

Step aside when real work flyin’,

I’m numbers, proof — no denyin’.

You hype yourself up like you’re someone great,

But without me? This whole place breaks.

⸻

You crumble at tasks I crush before lunch,

I move weight — you just talk a bunch.

Legends built off sweat, grit, and drive,

You run from effort — that’s why you won’t thrive.

Every metric I hit, every load I clear,

Is a mirror you dodge ’cause it exposes fear.

Your hustle’s a myth, your energy low,

I’m the engine… you’re fumes fading slow.

Keep flexin’ like a king — you ain’t that guy,

You’re just noise on the floor when real ones walk by.

You bark, you brag, you act ten feet deep —

But you’re soft in the center, angry penguin routine.

⸻

Bare-Minimum Kingpin…

Your reign ends here.