Between Loving You and Losing me

I used to fill notebooks up with songs

Used to dance barefoot all night long

Had a laugh that filled up every room

Before I built my whole world around you

Started shrinking piece by piece

Just to keep you close to me

Didn’t even notice when

I stopped sounding like myself again

I called it love for all those years

But love shouldn’t feel like fear

Somewhere between loving you and losing me

I disappeared so quietly

Smiled through hell just to keep the peace

You sucked the life right out of me

Stopped writing, stopped singing songs

Stopped dancing when my hope was gone

Spent my whole damn life trying to believe

If I loved you enough you’d change for me

Spent my whole adult life pretending

Being someone else just to keep you staying

Every broken promise wore me down

Till I barely recognized myself now

I lost my fire, lost my smile

Kept holding on mile after mile

Trying to fix what I didn’t break

Giving more than anybody should take

One night I got down on my knees

And begged God, please just rescue me

Take this weight off of my soul

‘Cause I can’t carry this alone

And I won’t apologize for how I healed

Or walking away from what you killed

You don’t get to break my heart to pieces

Then ask me why I couldn’t fix it

Somewhere between loving you and losing me

I finally found the strength to leave

Now every scar reminds me

I survived what almost buried me

So I’ll start writing, I’ll start singing songs

I’ll keep dancing till my fear is gone

And I won’t spend one more day believing

It was my job to save you from your demons