THOSE SMILES WERE MINE
[Verse 1]
I turn the pages.
Snapshots in time.
Hard to believe
Those smiles were mine.
I ran where I wanted.
I laughed from my chest.
No fear of tomorrow.
No weight from the past.
Then time turned its back.
Rose-colored glass broke.
I put away childhood
Before I let go.
[Verse 2]
At seventeen,
I gifted my youth
To military green.
I thought I was ready.
Yellow footprints.
Cold white light.
They pulled me apart
That very first night.
They shouted my name
Till it no longer felt mine.
The boy I walked in as
Was left there behind.
That little boy became
A blood sucking war machine.
[Chant]
Ready to fight.
Trained to kill.
Ready to die.
But never will.
Red lenses became black.
I’m up.
They see me.
Attack.
[Chorus]
Those smiles were mine
Before I had seen
What men do in shadows.
What evil can be.
They still see a stranger.
I study his eyes.
They hear a good story.
I listen for lies.
They count what they own.
I count who came home.
They see what is here.
I see what is gone.
[Verse 3]
I sat across tables.
I studied each face.
A twitch in the hand.
A word out of place.
I watched how they swallowed
Before they replied.
I learned evil can smile
And look you in the eye.
I carried their stories.
I carried their names.
Some brought us answers.
Some came too late.
Each truth took something
I could not replace.
The light in my eyes
Faded day after day.
[Chorus]
Those smiles were mine
Before I had seen
What men do in shadows.
What evil can be.
They still see a stranger.
I study his eyes.
They hear a good story.
I listen for lies.
They count what they own.
I count who came home.
They see what is here.
I see what is gone.
[Verse 4]
Thirteen years later,
I’m still coming home.
The uniform’s folded.
I still feel alone.
They talk about traffic.
New houses. New cars.
I know how quickly
Those things fall apart.
Once you know what matters,
Most things feel small.
It’s hard to find purpose
In wanting it all.
I was built to protect.
I knew where to stand.
Now morning keeps asking,
Who are you now, man?
[Bridge]
I don’t miss the war.
I miss knowing my place.
A reason to rise.
A reason to stay.
Guilt keeps a ledger.
It never shuts up.
I gave what I had.
It says not enough.
[Final Chorus]
Those smiles were mine
Before I could see
What men do in darkness.
What it took from me.
They plan for tomorrow.
I search for the man
Who came home breathing,
But not as he left.
They count what they own.
I count who came home.
Thirteen years later,
I’m still coming home.
[Outro]
I turn the pages.
That boy still smiles.
Hard to believe
Those smiles were mine.
