**(Intro)**
*(Lo-fi, distorted synth loop plays slowly. A deep voice talks over it in a bored drawl)*
Yeah. Yeah. We outside. We outside.
But... what if we're not?
What if the outside is just a simulation
Made of pixels and bad ad-libs?
**(Verse 1)**
*(Slow, heavy bass, monotone rap voice)*
I woke up this morning, looked at the credit list
Twenty producers, no soul, just a list
Natalie Nunn wrote the hook while she ate a bagel
She said, "Do your Big One baby, make it smell like a bagel"
What is a Big One?
Is it a sandwich? Is it a crime?
I’m confused, I’m depressed, I’m drowning in slime
Walk Walk Walk, I’m walking in place
My brain is a sieve, I have zero grace
My man said "Bitch, we outside!"
I looked out the window and saw... a goat?
A goat with a hat?
That’s the state of the art?
**(Chorus)**
*(The beat suddenly speeds up. High-pitched, manic vocals—Jon Mess style—screaming the hook)*
DO YOUR BIG ONE BABY!
DO YOUR BIG ONE!
DO YOUR BIG ONE TO YOUR BIG ONE!
*(Screaming)*
BIG ONE! BIG ONE! BIG ONE!
DO YOUR BIG ONE!
*(Distorted voice)*
Do your Big One! Do your Big One!
*(Sped up laughter)*
HAHAHAHAHA!
IT’S A BIG ONE!
**(Verse 2)**
*(Beat drops out, leaving just a chaotic drum pattern and a screaming guitar riff)*
*(Jon Mess style—fast, whiny, emo-core energy)*
I SET MY FRIENDS ON FIRE TO THE TRAP BEAT!
MY SOUL IS BURNING, CAN YOU HEAR THE GUITAR STRUM?
I’M A BERRY, I’M ALIVE, I’M A PIXELATED BIRD!
I DON’T KNOW WHAT IM RAPPING ABOUT!
I THOUGHT I WAS DOING POETRY!
BUT NOW I’M DOING PHONK!
WALK WALK WALK, I’M WALKING ON MY HANDS!
MY ANXIETY IS TRIGGERED BY THE SNARE DRUM!
ARE YOU LISTENING?
ARE YOU LISTENING TO THE VOID?
IT’S SOLO, IT’S SOLO, WE ARE SOLO!
WE ARE ALONE IN THE BIG ONE!
**(Bridge)**
*(Slow down. Weird, atmospheric sound effects. A sample of someone mumbling)*
"Big one... big one... big one..."
*(Jon Mess whispering in the background)*
I’m just repeating what they told me to say.
I don’t know what a Big One is.
I’m scared.
I want my teddy bear.
I want the 808s to stop.
**(Chorus)**
*(Explosive energy returns)*
DO YOUR BIG ONE BABY!
DO YOUR BIG ONE!
DO YOUR BIG ONE TO YOUR BIG ONE!
*(Screaming)*
BIG ONE! BIG ONE! BIG ONE!
DO YOUR BIG ONE!
*(Screaming)*
IT’S A BIG ONE BABY!
*(Sped up)*
DO YOUR BIG ONE DO YOUR BIG ONE DO YOUR BIG ONE!
**(Outro)**
*(Music cuts to silence. A single distorted voice lingers)*
We outside.
We outside we outside.
But I’m still inside.
And I’m still confused.
Do your Big One.
Do it.
Do it for the gram.
Do it for the clout.
Do it for the... berries.
*(Final scream)*
BIG ONE!
*(Fade out on the sound of a bagel being chewed loudly)*