Verse 1
It’s him, it’s always him
Sitting shotgun when the lights go dim
Birthday candles, graduation stage
New Year’s countdown, another age
Christmas morning, hollow grin
He’s underneath my skin
Like something broken deep within
That doctors say you just live with
He’s like a deficiency you can’t cure
Like something constant, something sure
Runs through my blood whether I fight or give in
I didn’t choose him — but he chose me again
Pre-Chorus
Some nights he fades away
I almost feel okay
But quiet never stays
He comes back twice as loud
Chorus
He tells me no one loves me
No one wants me here
Laughing like the Joker
But nobody else can hear
That low, unhinged, echoing grin
Rattling around inside my head
I fight, I break, I try to pray
But it’s him… it’s always him
Verse 2
He makes me think about the edge
About the silence, about the ledge
That simple thought that won’t let go
Shows up more than you would know
Hours staring at the wall
Wondering if they’d care at all
If I disappeared one night
Would they forgive me? Would they fight?
And I swear I’d never do it
But the thought still cuts right through me
Every single day it’s there
Like breathing in too-heavy air
He makes me overthink every word
Every text left slightly blurred
Every look, every small mistake
Turns tiny cracks to earthquakes
Pre-Chorus
He says, “You’re tired, just let it end”
“You’re just a burden to your friends”
And even when I know he lies
His voice still multiplies
Chorus
He tells me no one loves me
No one wants me here
Laughing like the Joker
Sharp and crystal clear
That manic, twisted, midnight sound
Spinning when there’s no one around
I scream into the steering wheel
But it never drowns him out
It’s him… it’s always him
Bridge (Build / Scream Section)
Some turn to bottles
Some turn to pills
Some chase a numb
Some chase the thrills
Hold him back like a dog on a chain
But when the high wears off
He’s back again
He never leaves
He never rests
He lives inside my chest
Like a deficiency you can’t reverse
Like a lifelong curse you just rehearse
His name is depression.
And he knows my name too.
Breakdown (Quiet, then explode)
Fragile like shattered glass
He’s the stone he throws fast
Then I explode on the ones I love
Push away the ones I trust
I wanna talk but he shuts me down
That Joker laugh shakes the ground
(HA,HA,HA,HA,HA)
Deep and dark and mocking me
Like I’ll never break free
He says I’ll always lose this war
No matter what I’m fighting for
Final Chorus (Full Car-Scream)
He tells me no one loves me
No one wants me here
But I’m still screaming lyrics
At 3:17 this year
Windows down, tears burning
Engine roaring loud
If he really won
Why am I screaming now?
It’s him.
It’s always him.
But I’m still here.
