I wanna die… I won’t pretend
But I don’t cross where it all would end
Somethin’ in me keep pullin’ back
Even when everything fade to black
I wanna die… but I still stay
Cursed to remember every day
Pain keep talkin’, I can’t outrun
But I ain’t done ‘til I’m really done
I wanna die… but I don’t fall
Echoes of me still in these walls
Tried to leave… couldn’t break free
Life keep draggin’ me back to me
Everyone close to me fall… I just watch
Names fade out while I’m losin’ my thoughts
Walk with my family, drift through the same
Findin’ their faces, forgettin’ their names
Everyone close to me gone… I remain
Holdin’ the weight of the love and the pain
Tryna remember but it slip through my hands
I’m still here walkin’… I don’t understand
I been walkin’ with ghosts in a line behind me
Some I still see, some fade when I blink, quietly
Mama said “hold on,” but time don’t rewind me
Pictures in my head but the edges get grimy
Laughs turn echoes, I can’t replay ‘em right
Voices get distant every single night
I reach for their names but they fall outta sight
Like I’m losin’ my past while I’m holdin’ it tight
I ain’t gone yet… even when I feel lost
Still takin’ steps no matter the cost
Family in my soul even when they fade
I carry ‘em forward… even when I break
I wanna die… I won’t pretend
But I don’t cross where it all would end
Somethin’ in me keep pullin’ back
Even when everything fade to black
I wanna die… but I still stay
Cursed to remember every day
Pain keep talkin’, I can’t outrun
But I ain’t done ‘til I’m really done
I wanna die… but I don’t fall
Echoes of me still in these walls
Tried to leave… couldn’t break free
Life keep draggin’ me back to me
When I say “I wanna die,” they just call me insane
But they ain’t seen the pieces I forgot in the pain
Watched the good ones fall, had to stay in my lane
Still standin’ right here while it pour like rain
Don’t get me wrong… yeah, we still strong
Even after losin’ people we was leanin’ on
Rest in peace to souls that done moved on
I carry y’all with me every time I write a song
They don’t see the blanks in my memory fade
Names I used to know just drift away
Moments feel real but they don’t feel the same
Like I’m chasin’ ghosts that won’t show they face
Seen the real ones drop, couldn’t fall with ‘em
Had to keep breathin’, couldn’t crawl with ‘em
Part of me left when I lost my fam
But I’m still right here, I can’t quit again
They call me crazy ‘cause I speak it out loud
silence worse when it sit in a crowd
I ain’t weak, I just carry it proud
All that pain turn weight in a cloud
Rest in peace… yeah, I mean that truth
Y’all found peace, I’m still walkin through
I wanna die… I won’t pretend
But I don’t cross where it all would end
Somethin’ in me keep pullin’ back
Even when everything fade to black
I wanna die… but I still stay
Cursed to remember every day
Pain keep talkin’, I can’t outrun
But I ain’t done ‘til I’m really done
I'm just an old dog waitin
Never beggin
have some dignity
SoviSilentHyena
