soft boy, hard pills

he cried in my bed, mouth trembling like it meant something

said his life was falling apart, asked me to hold the pieces

i believed him, pressed my shoulder into his ribs, told him i was enough

he said “you’re the only good part” and i swallowed that like prayer soft boy, hard pills, he sobbed like a saint then smiled like a thief

left his meds on my nightstand like some quiet confession

i watched him take two, then three, like it was a joke we were in on

felt holy and stupid at once while he traced my name with cold fingers morning hit and he flipped the script, act clean as a goddamn surgeon

my name turned to “psycho,” my care became proof of my crime

he texted his friends, told them i’d stalked him, painted me crazy loud

and everyone believes the soft boy who cries and posts sad quotes soft boy, hard pills, he weaponized his tears, used my trust as ammo

said i was obsessive, unstable, blamed me for pulling him under

sent my photos to his crew, twisted my words like barbed wire

made me the villain in every story while he played martyr on a cloud i kept his bottle like proof of what he’d left behind

white pills like lie-lozenges, blue caps like little grenades

i could’ve flushed them, smashed them, but i kept them anyway

kept them to remember how a man can break you and call it pain soft boy, hard pills, he cried in my bed and then burned the place down

laughed while i tried to breathe, watched me choke on his version

he turned the room into gossip, into evidence of my wrong

and the world cheered the crying boy who made my life a song soft boy, hard pills, yeah, i fell for the tremor in his voice

thought tenderness could save him, but tenderness was his ploy

he uses softness like a knife, cuts deep then plays offended

and i’m left cleaning up a life he scored like it was recommended i should’ve known the tears were a show, a script he’d rehearse

should’ve seen the pills, the way he moved like somebody used to hurt

but i wanted to be the one to fix him, wanted to be the saint

now i’m painted crazy and he’s posting candles, writing sad-ass prayers soft boy, hard pills, he ruined me by noon

made me the bad guy, then smiled under a halo of likes

so fuck his sobbing, fuck his sacred little lies

i held a man who cried and woke up with my life on fire.