Black Lines Don’t Wash Off

(LOW AMP HUM)

I keep the lights off on purpose…

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I draw the lines around my eyes

So you don’t see the ones inside

I learned to smile just right on cue

So nobody asks what I go through

There’s a version of me I let you keep

The one that laughs, the one that speaks

But every mirror tells the truth—

When there’s something missing in the proof

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I say I’m fine like it’s a script

Rehearsed so well I never slip

But every word I counterfeit

Comes back to cut a little bit

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I CAN’T HOLD THIS IN TONIGHT

IT’S CRAWLING UP MY SPINE

I PAINT IT BLACK SO NO ONE SEES

WHAT’S EATING ME ALIVE

IF I SCREAM WILL IT SOUND RIGHT?

OR JUST ECHO IN MY MIND?

I WASH MY FACE BUT IT WON’T FADE—

THE BLACK LINES DON’T WASH OFF THIS TIME

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I count the cracks along the wall

Like they’re a map of where I fall

Every night is another rerun

Of who I was and what I’ve done

I keep receipts of every doubt

A ledger I can’t balance out

The interest grows in silent rooms

Where quiet learns from abuse

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Don’t ask me how, don’t make me say

I’ll joke it off, I’ll look away

But if you stay a second late

You’ll hear the part I can’t contain

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I CAN’T HOLD THIS IN TONIGHT

IT’S CRAWLING UP MY SPINE

I PAINT IT BLACK SO NO ONE SEES

WHAT’S EATING ME ALIVE

IF I SCREAM WILL IT SOUND RIGHT?

OR JUST ECHO IN MY MIND?

I WASH MY FACE BUT IT WON’T FADE—

THE BLACK LINES DON’T WASH OFF THIS TIME

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(CLEAN GUITAR, BREATH)

I’m tired of hiding in my skin

Of folding pain again and again

If I let go—what would remain?

A name? A face? Or just a stain…

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(HEARTBEAT KICK)

Say it out loud—say it out loud—

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I CAN’T HOLD THIS IN TONIGHT!

I’M DONE PRETENDING I’M ALRIGHT!

I PAINT IT BLACK—IT BLEEDS THROUGH ME—

THERE’S NO MORE HIDING WHAT I SEE!

IF I BREAK—AT LEAST IT’S REAL!

IF I CRACK—AT LEAST I FEEL!

I WASH MY FACE BUT IT WON’T FADE—

THE BLACK LINES ARE HERE TO STAY!

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(CLEAN GUITAR)

(WHISPER)

…they don’t wash off…

(AMP HUM FADES)