Didgeridoo Kangaroo

[Vocal: relaxed Australian male narrator]

Verse 1:
I work the graveyard shift till dawn
So I sleep most afternoons
Or at least that was the plan
’Til the other day at two
Every day like clockwork I’m woken by this awful tone
It pulsates through my body… shakes every single bone
It’s low, loud and obnoxious
It rumbles through my room
The windows buzz, the dresser hums
The ceiling vibrates too
Something just outside my house
Will face my wrath real soon

Verse 2:
So half asleep and fairly mad
I stumbled out to view
Whatever awful racket
Had disturbed me from my snooze
I scanned the yard for speakers
A truck, some other clue
But standing there beside my fence
Was a kangaroo
I rubbed my eyes and looked again
To check if it was true
The marsupial stood there playing
A didgeridoo

Chorus:
I swear I must be losing screws
Or half stuck in a dream
Because out there beside my fence
Is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen
A kangaroo just standing there
Blowing that enormous tube
Every afternoon at two
On a bloody didgeridoo

Verse 3:
I stood there for a moment
Not quite sure what to do
I reckon that droning noise suggests
Some strange kangaroo taboo
Perhaps it’s some courtship ritual
That certain kangaroos do?
An unconventional mating call
Played on a didgeridoo?

Chorus:
I swear I must be losing screws
Or half stuck in a dream
Because out there beside my fence
Is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen
A kangaroo just standing there
Blowing that enormous tube
Every afternoon at two
On a bloody didgeridoo

Verse 4:
Well that was my conclusion
As I stood there in the yard
When something else hopped to the fence
And caught me off my guard
Another kangaroo appeared
Seems she must have heard it too
And clutched within her little paw
Was a tiny red kazoo

Bridge:
Before too long the yard filled up
With creatures from the zoo
A wallaby, a crocodile
And many others, too
They gathered ’round the kangaroos
All swaying to the groove
And I began to wonder if
It’s time for me to move

[Instrumental Break – Didgeridoo/Kazoo duet]

Final Chorus:
Now there’s a kangaroo with a didgeridoo
Another with a kazoo
And half the animal kingdom’s here
Like they’ve got nothing else to do
They play their strange little duet
Every afternoon at two
And somehow my yard’s become
This Outback concert venue

Outro:
So if you’re fond of wildlife
And gifted kangaroos
There’s a lovely little house for sale
With a pretty decent view
I’m packing up tomorrow
I think I’ve seen it all
You can profit from this wild band —
My realtor’s taking calls

Australian bush folk ballad, male narrator, didgeridoo drone, kazoo solo break, fingerpicked acoustic guitar, dry humor