[Verse 1]
Bust through the door like “who moved my shoelace?”
Tripped on air, somersaulted into a suitcase
Brain so scrambled you could serve it on a brunch plate
Talking to myself like “bro… what’s your name?”
I’m a hazard—
Woke up in the fridge like “when did I get plastered?”
Microwave beepin’ at me, callin’ me a bastard
Got into a fight with my phone, then it password’d
My life glitchin’—
NPC vision
Argued with a pigeon ‘cause it looked too suspicious
Stepped in the kitchen and slipped on my ambition
Think I’m on a mission but forgot the definition
[Hook]
I’m goofy, stupid, brain translucent
Thoughts all useless, words confusing
Two left shoes and a life that’s losin’
Bars so dumb they replaced the school system
⸻
[Verse 2]
Walkin’ through Walmart like a budget supervillain
Buyin’ duct tape, cat food, and a bag full of children’s…
(Toys. Relax. I’m broke but wholesome.)
Got kicked out the store for yellin’ at a troll doll
My vibe unstable—
Ready to flip tables
Cable bill higher than a mountain full of bagels
Eating ramen like it’s gourmet on a gold table
Chef Boyardee lookin’ at me like “you ungrateful”
Sleep schedule tragic, chaos fanatic
Brain made of static and Diet Pepsi additives
Tryna parallel park, caused seventeen accidents
GPS screaming like “bro YOU inadequate!”
[Hook 2]
I’m clueless, ruthless, bad at music
Still drop bars like a vending unit
If dumb was a crime, I’d be life-sentence-doing
Whole squad stupid and we proud to prove it
⸻
[Verse 3 – FAST FLOW]
I’m a gremlin in a hoodie with a caffeine problem
Goblin, talkin’ nonsense, logic not solvable
Wobblin’, joggin’, socks mismatched often
Got a TikTok filter stuck on my noggin
Mouth runnin’ like a faucet, flow obnoxious
Bar so toxic it got OSHA watchin’
Brain microscopic, thoughts half-rotted
Still spit heat like a laptop coffined
Backpack full of snacks and panic
Rap so spastic it breaks mechanics
Linguistic gymnastics, mad and manic
Alphabet stretched like elastic fabric
[Outro]
I’m goofy, stupid, proudly useless
Life on shuffle, brain on mute-ish
Palmer Squares energy, wild and ruthless
Too absurd to be anything but human
CarsonGoldsmith
