How do you prepare

I didn’t have time to prepare. How do you prepare for loss when everything reminds you of them like flowers he used to pick for me like words you won’t hear again or looks that made you laugh the good and bad times are left only in our mind some how you must let go but never forget the other day I heard thunder I said my babies having a tantrum I could never hold him again, but I did my holding at the end. I could never tell him I love him, but I did that at the end I could never watch him grow older this way I can keep him young and heart. I can’t turn him over to God because God is who has him now and one day. I’ll see my son again in a better in different way so it’s bye for now, but not forever and he’ll be waiting with arms open wide I so bright and the biggest smile because once again he sees mommy