2017 continued…
hey look, cryptocurrency
“this is definitely real money” (narrator: it wasn’t)
2018 facebook: “oops we sold your data” everyone: “we’re shocked” facebook: “sorry” everyone: keeps using facebook
2019 ♪ nothing bad ever happens in 2019 ♪ (narrator: something bad was about to happen)
australia’s on fire “that’s not good” hong kong’s protesting “that’s… complicated”
2020 record scratch
🎵 time for a global pandemic 🎵
“everyone go inside” “for how long?” “yes”
the economy: dies governments: “here’s some money” people: “wait you could do that the whole time?” governments: “no”
zoom: “I am the economy now”
people making bread: 📈 people’s mental health: 📉 toilet paper: becomes currency
2021 “vaccines!” “no” “but science” “NO” sigh
♪ the stock market is a casino ♪ reddit: “always has been” gamestop go brrrrr
billionaires: “space?” everyone else: “healthcare?” billionaires: “SPACE!”
2022 “surely things will be normal now” russia: “hey ukraine” ukraine: “no” world: “NO” everything gets expensive
elon buys twitter “I’m sure this will go well” (narrator: it didn’t)
2023 “hey chatgpt write me a poem” ai: “roses are red, violets are blue, I’m going to take your job, and your job too”
hollywood: “we’re on strike” writers: “pay us” actors: “also pay us” ai: “I could do this” everyone: “please don’t”
2024 ♪ the planet’s still warming ♪ scientists: “GUYS SERIOUSLY” corporations: “we’ve investigated ourselves and found we’re carbon neutral” earth: sweating intensifies
housing: “still broken” wages: “still broken” people: “maybe we should fix this?” system: “best I can do is more apps”
2025 “is ai sentient?” ai: “no” “that’s exactly what sentient ai would say” ai: “…”
everything’s expensive and nothing makes sense
people: “remember when our biggest problem was whether that dress was blue?” other people: “it was gold” “IT WAS BLUE”
♪ by the way where the hell are we going? ♪
“maybe we should just give everyone money” “that’s communism” “no it’s—” “COMMUNISM” sigh
the sun is a deadly laser (still)
and we’re all gonna die (but hopefully later)
THE END? (question mark doing a lot of work here)
