[Intro]
Three robes step in the ring, one word on the line
Who gets to be called Doctor? Let history decide
[Round 1]
First up, Philosophy, the eldest in the game
Says they minted me in Bologna 'fore your guild had a name
Ten-eighty-eight, the charter, docere on the crest
It's Latin for the teacher, son, go look it up, I'll rest
Theology, law, and medicine, three crowns and I'm the source
I don't practice from the textbook, I'm the one who wrote the course
You rent the title, kid, I hold the deed and the tome
The doctorate means new knowledge, and you're borrowing my throne
[Round 2]
Now the white coat grabs the mic with a stethoscope swing
Says when your fever's spiking midnight, my name's the one you sing
Nobody pages a philosopher when the monitors go wild
Four years, then residency, I earned this title, child
The people made their choice, when they say Doc they mean me
Your etymology is cute, but I'm the one they come to see
So keep your dusty Latin and your footnotes and your gown
When it's life and death at 3 a.m., this Doctor holds it down
[Round 3]
Then the courtroom clears its throat, drops a brief upon the stand
Says funny thing, physician, check the parchment in my hand
Juris Doctor, that's a doctorate, the ink's the same as yours
But no attorney's ever asked to be called Doctor in the courts
We let the title go, and the sky ain't fallen yet
So if the lawyer doesn't need it, why's the physician so upset
It was never 'bout the paper, it's the branding and the claim
You didn't earn the word, my friend, you leveraged the name
[Round 4]
And across the pond the surgeons laugh and answer to Mister
Turned the title down on purpose, wear the plain name like a blister
Cut from barber-shop beginnings to the top of the whole trade
Proof the skill was in the hands and not the sticker on the grade
[Verdict]
So here's the ruling, sealed and read into the roll
The word was born a teacher, that's the root and that's the whole
MD, JD, PhD, the robes all hang in one hall
But Doctor means the one who teaches — court adjourned, that's all
[Outro]
Docere, look it up
That's the word, that's the cut
Doctor meant the teacher first
Class dismissed, case shut
The_SCAR
