Save Or Die (But You Choose)

[Verse 1]
We kicked in doors for decades
Plot armor wrapped us tight
Balanced fights on printed grids
Bright cantrips in the night
Then some cryptic elder grognard
Grinned and passed a zine
"Here’s a map
Ten feet of pole
And a death chart
Page thirteen"
[Chorus]
Save or die
(yeah, that’s the rule)
Welcome to the murder school
Every hallway hates your guts
Every lever feeds you to the rats
We’re terrified
(still rolling dice)
Bleeding out for awful loot
But gods
It feels so sharp
So true
When every stupid choice is you
[Verse 2]
We argue over marching order
"Who’s in front?" "You go!"
Wizard’s got three spells all day
And one of them is "throw"
Cleric prays for basic healing
DM just laughs
"prepare"
"Create water?" "Wrong edition"
"Graveyard’s over there"
[Chorus]
Save or die
(again we roll)
Dungeon like a sausage roll
Every statue
Every groove
Secret way to end the group
We’re petrified
(we kick the door)
But now the fear is half the fun
Every nail we pull
Each rung
If we explode
At least we’re the ones
[Bridge]
Trap on the chest
Trap on the floor
Trap on the hinge
Trap on the door
Trap on the torch
Trap on the key
"Is there a trap
On questioning me?"
[Spoken over chugs]
"I poke it with my ten-foot pole"
"It pokes back for 3d8"
"I check for traps"
"You find a trap"
"I… leave the dungeon"
"Wise"
[Verse 3]
We bribe the orcs with moldy bread
Hire ten doomed torchbearers
Write our wills on character sheets
Name the next poor heirs
No encounter math to save us
No last-chance safety net
But every scar and stupid death
Feels like the best we’ve met
[Chorus]
Save or die
(roll those bones)
Laughing while we crack our bones
Every pit
A punchline drop
Every TPK
A curtain drop
We’re horrified
But wide awake
Trading comfort for control
If this is how our heroes break
We’d rather be the ones who chose
[Outro]
So here’s to rust
And poison spikes
To ten-foot poles
And camping nights
We came for rules
We stayed for dread
Old school dreams
Of glorious dead

metal, Hyper-tight melodic death / tech-death hybrid with comedy metal attitude; male vocals. Twin-guitar harmonies over blast-heavy drums, sudden stop-start riffs for punchlines, gang-shouted hooks. Verses frantic and riffy, chorus opens into big melodic lines with octave leads. Brief shred break under spoken-style rant, then all-in final chorus with layered screams and chants., death metal, comedy, melodic death metal