[Verse 1]
Dear me,
I have a question
And I don’t know how to ask
When did we start saying sorry
For the things that he did back?
When did being loved get scary?
When did home feel like a test?
When did we start working harder
Just to make him love us less?
I remember when we promised
No one gets to make us small
So I’m writing just to ask you
How’d we let him do it all?
[Verse 2]
He lied and we believed him
He cheated, we still stayed
He talked about other women
While we begged to feel pretty again
He picked apart our body
Watched every bite we’d take
Asked about fixing things on us
Like we were something he could change
He could tell us who was beautiful
But somehow never us
And we kept trying to earn from him
What should’ve just been love
[Chorus]
Dear me, why didn’t you leave?
Was being alone really harder than these things?
You used to be so loud
You used to know your worth
How did somebody loving you
Teach you how to hurt?
You kept saying, “He loves me”
Like that made it all okay
Dear me, I don’t blame you
I just wish we’d walked away
[Verse 3]
He’d tell us to get out
Then ask us not to go
Say he didn’t want us
Then hold us when we broke
And every time he changed his mind
We changed ourselves instead
Learning every version of him
So we could stay one step ahead
We drove the miles
We brought his things
We left him food when we were through
And somehow after all of that
We still worried what we’d done to you
[Bridge]
Dear grown-up me,
Did you forget me?
I’m still the little girl inside
Who thought that love meant feeling safe
Who didn’t think she’d have to cry
And beg somebody else to stay
You kept making yourself smaller
Your voice softer, your needs less
Thinking if you could be good enough
Maybe he’d be gentle next
But you were never supposed to earn
Someone treating you with care
And love isn’t proven by how much
You’re willing to survive in there
[Final Chorus]
Dear me, now I understand
You weren’t staying ‘cause you’re weak
You kept chasing who he’d been before
Every time he’d start to leave
You remembered every tender thing
And forgot yourself instead
You kept waiting for the loving him
To come back from the dead
So dear me, here’s my promise
If you’re still somewhere in there
I’ll stop begging people to choose us
I’ll stop calling pain “being scared”
I’ll learn to be the girl again
Who knew when something wasn’t right
And next time someone makes us smaller,
I’ll be the one who says goodnight.
[Outro]
Dear me,
I’m sorry it took so long.
I’m coming back now.
Love,
Me.