[Verse 1]
I thought there’d always be another night,
Another message lighting up my phone.
Another chance to let the truth slip out,
Another moment we could call our own.
So I kept hiding underneath a smile,
Kept every dangerous feeling locked away.
You never knew how deep you got inside—
And now there’s nothing left for me to say.
[Pre-Chorus]
You found somebody
while I was fighting with my fear.
Now all the things I couldn’t tell you
are the only things I hear.
[Chorus]
I hate that you will never know
How hard I fell, how deep it goes.
How many nights I almost called
Just to confess I wanted all of you.
I hate that she gets what I dreamed,
While I’m still somewhere in between
The life we had and what could be.
You moved on—
But you’re still everywhere in me.
[Verse 2]
Take me back across the border line,
To water warm beneath a foreign sky.
The Netherlands, that night, that stupid room—
Before I knew I’d miss it all my life.
I’d look at you a little longer now.
I wouldn’t hide behind another joke.
I’d let the words come crashing from my mouth
Instead of letting every moment go.
[Pre-Chorus]
Because somebody
was brave enough to let you in.
While I was standing at the edge
too scared to even begin.
[Chorus]
I hate that you will never know
How hard I fell, how deep it goes.
How many nights I almost called
Just to confess I wanted all of you.
I hate that she gets what I dreamed,
While I’m still somewhere in between
The life we had and what could be.
You moved on—
But you’re still everywhere in me.
[Bridge]
And I could scream until my voice gives out,
Could tear these memories apart.
But anger doesn’t change the truth—
I handed silence my own heart.
Maybe you’d have turned me down.
Maybe you would’ve pulled me near.
I could survive either answer.
It’s the never knowing
I can’t bear.
[Breakdown]
So tell me—
Did you ever feel it too?
Did you ever almost say it?
Did you ever lie awake
With my name inside your head?
Or was I falling all alone
While standing right beside you?
God, I wish
I fucking knew.
[Final Chorus]
I hate that you may never know
You were the place I wanted most.
And every word I buried then
Is burning through my chest again.
I hate that time won’t turn around,
That someone else has found you now.
And if I never get another chance
To look into your eyes and tell the truth—
I hope somehow
some part of you
already knew.
[Outro]
Take me back across the border line,
Just one more night beneath that sky.
This time
I wouldn’t let you leave
without knowing why.