“Boys, Slow Down”

Verse 1]

I can hear your laughter in the hallway

Feet hitting the floor too fast

I hear myself saying, “boys, slow down”

Like the future finally passed

I see bath time, steam in the mirror

Your mom smiling, tired but whole

I see a version of me that didn’t shatter

In a life I almost got to hold

They say time heals everything

But some things just stay loud

I hear you when the house is quiet

I hear you when the world shuts down

I hear you in the spaces between

Every breath I never found

You’re still here in the way I love

In the way I break, then stand

I didn’t lose you in that moment

You just learned how to live in my hands

I showed up strong at the doctor’s office

Like I always knew how to do

I held it together, nodded my head

Did everything they asked me to

But when they couldn’t find your heartbeats

I felt the ground forget my name

I walked back to the car in silence

And nothing in me stayed the same

Superman finally fell that day

With nowhere left to land

I broke down somewhere near three a.m.

Parked the car, turned off the lights

Cried harder than I did when my father died

Didn’t know how I’d survive

When your whole life is being the provider

And strength is all you’ve known

Losing you taught me something brutal

Even heroes can’t hold everything alone

I don’t understand God’s timing

I don’t pretend to know why

But somehow you saved me by leaving

And I hate that truth inside

Because even shattered, I stayed

Because even broken, I breathe

And when I couldn’t be Superman anymore

I learned how to just be me

I hear you when I wake up shaking

I hear you when I calm back down

I hear you when I say your names

In a whisper I never say out loud

I never healed, I just learned to carry

What love refused to end

My boys didn’t leave me behind

They just taught me how to stay for her instead

So I keep going for Mommy

When the nights feel too long

I still hear you running through my life

And I say… boys, slow down