Bathroom Door Jammed

[Verse 1]
M: Who brought twenty friends
To a one-bed flat? (come on)
F: Who said “it’ll stay chill”
Then invited the group chat?
M: Someone spilled red punch
On the landlord’s cat
F: Someone’s vaping in the oven
Who did that?
[Pre-Chorus]
M: Queue for the sink
F: Line for the floor
M: I just need five seconds
F: You screamed “dibs” at the door
Both: My name’s on the knock list
And the block list too
Is it rude if I cut?
’Cause I really
Really have to—
[Chorus]
Both: Bathroom door jammed
And my life on hold
M: I’m sweating through my hoodie
F: My mascara’s old
Both: Everybody banging
Like a drumline war
Twenty drunk people
For one dumb door
M: I’m not okay
F: I’m kinda fine
Both: This party’s a disaster
And the fault is mine
[Verse 2]
F: Someone doing shots
Off the ironing board
M: Someone ordered food
On my card
Oh lord
F: Your ex in the kitchen
Giving TED talks
Bored
M: Three kids in the shower
Filming “skincare” lore
[Pre-Chorus]
F: Phone at three percent
M: Dignity at two
F: Texted “come save me”
M: They’re all here too
Both: DJ put my playlist
On endless loop
Now that one breakup song
Is a hostage coup
[Chorus]
Both: Bathroom door jammed
And my pride on thin
M: I’m rehearsing excuses
F: I’m just trying to get in
Both: Everybody pounding
Like the rent is due
Twenty loud strangers
In my shampoo
M: I’m not okay
F: I’m kinda fine
Both: This party’s a car crash
In a straight line
[Bridge]
[Band drops to stomps and claps
Chant style]
M: I swear I heard a flush
F: I swear I heard a scream
M: Someone’s stuck in there
F: Or they moved in
It seems
M: Try the handle—
F: Twist it harder—
Both: Why is this my life?
[Chorus]
Both: Bathroom door jammed
And the night gone wrong
M: My social battery’s
Been dead for long
F: Lipstick on the mirror
Spells “never again”
M: But we both know
We’ll do this weekend
Both: Everybody shouting
From the hall to street
M: I just want quiet
F: I just want sleep
Both: This chaos is cute
’til it hits your floor
M: Next time I throw a party—
F: I’m removing the door (hey!)

rock, Hyper-caffeinated pop-punk with dueling male/female vocals, downpicked guitars and tight, frantic drums. Verses race in a call-and-response sprint, gang shouts punching key punchlines. Choruses explode with overlapping hooks and octave harmonies; middle section drops to tom-led stomp before final full-band pileup. Raw, slightly overdriven mix that still keeps the comedy and lyrics up-front., pop, punk, female vocals