I’ve Never Been Here Before

Verse 1

I’ve never been here before

Or maybe once or twice

Thought it was just a phase

Something I’d outgrow with time

Never understood the meaning

Of feeling empty inside

Till I started smiling in public

Then breaking down when I cried

I keep telling everyone I’m fine

But that’s just something I say

Got a war in my head every night

And it don’t go away

Pre-Chorus

They look at me like I’m strong

Like I don’t ever bend

But nobody asks how I’m holding up

They just ask what’s next

I’m the one they lean on

The one that don’t fall apart

But what happens to the strong one

When she’s breaking in the dark?

Chorus

I’m tired of being the fighter

The “you’ll be okay”

Carrying everybody’s weight

While mine just stays

I’m chasing peace like it’s medicine

Trying to fill this space

But I keep losing pieces of me

With a smile on my face

Verse 2

They tell me, “be patient”

“Everything comes in time”

But patience feels like pressure

When I’m barely feeling fine

Me and my mom been distant

Words turning into walls

We don’t yell, we just go quiet

And that silence says it all

She thinks I should be stronger

Maybe she don’t understand

I’m still just her little baby

Trying to be who I am

I wanna make her proud

But I don’t know where to start

Wish she could see I’m trying

Even when I fall apart

Verse 3

My daddy lost his battles

To something he couldn’t fight

Addiction pulled him under

Before he was in my life

I never really knew him

He wasn’t around for me

But when he passed three years ago

It still felt hard to breathe

Mama had to raise me

With strength I didn’t see

Holding everything together

While carrying me

Now I understand her

In ways I didn’t then

She was doing it alone

Again and again

Bridge

Maybe I’m not broken

Maybe I’m just tired

Of pouring from an empty cup

Trying to feel inspired

Healing isn’t pretty

It’s slow and it’s messy

But I’m learning I can’t save the world

If I don’t first protect me

Final Chorus

I’m tired of being the fighter

The “you’ll be okay”

Carrying everybody’s weight

While mine just stays

But maybe strength is softer

Maybe it’s just grace

Learning how to hold my pain

Without losing faith