Love You Like I Miss You

You knew every secret

Every bad joke

Every scar

We were loud in the daylight

Then I cried in my car

Told you all my monsters

You just named them “not my fault”

I kept calling it friendship

You kept keeping your walls

I hate you like I miss you

Both feelings hit at once

I’d still pick up if you called me

Even after what you’ve done

You’re the wound I keep on touching

The ache I can’t undo

I hate you like I miss you

For never loving me like I loved you

I was first to say “I’m sorry”

You were first to change the plans

You would run when I was breaking

I still reached out my hands

I saved all of our pictures

But I cut myself in two

Half of me still wants you close

Half is running from you

You’re the laugh I still remember

You’re the silence in my chest

You’re the almost

You’re the never

You’re the worst and you’re the best

[low vocal register] If I see you in the future

I’ll pretend that I’m brand new

But my eyes will say “I love you”

And my heart will say “we’re through”