To many faces

to many faces in my mind I got so many questions for your god like why was left to cry alone a cold word that never cares who hurts why is that was left with a family that doesn't give fuco about anything other than a dollar bill why is that I live alive but also dead inside so many times I had the needle to veins and yet it took 23 years for me to wake up to life 2 years sober and yet I felt so sad about what I chouldnt do for the ones I realy love why is it that I live alive but dead to the world to many times I wanted to be free of guilt and shame but yet your God let's me live in the workd w9th nothing but I skin and my brain to many times I left the world just to come back I'm ready for the next one I want to live away form this pain to many times i want to go home and yet some one only cares when the bullet is centimeters away form my chest i love the ones that matter but to the ones that domt just leave me alone like you always do cuz love makes the heart ache but the love that keeps me alive is my true family