Had it all

I had everything... I had it all

I didn't notice until it started to fall

No career, no house

No kids and no spouse.

Fifteen years, nothing in hand

And there is noone left to understand

Everything is gone, including my heart

It's devastating, feels empty being apart

I worked so hard to get what I had

And in one day it was gone ... now I'm just sad.

I know one day I might find some good,

Of what I had hoped for from childhood

Until now it's been hurt and pain

With trauma lingering and blind to the gain

I wish I could restart from day one of life

Because I'd stay alone and never be a wife

I'd save the little girl who died that day

From the hands of her brothers vulgar ways

His own trauma passed on to her

At 4 years old no belief of what occurred

As adulthood came, so did more

Abuse, trauma, and knocked me to my core

I thought I found my one true support

Unfortunately instead he broke while he fought

So now, from my errors of not being aware

I have nothing to show for 37years here

Everything is gone and the blame is mine....

But now I carry on and hope I'll eventually... be fine.