Family Line (Coming Down)

I don’t wanna die yet…

But some nights it feels like the past won’t let me live.

Yeah…

I’m comin’ down again.

⸻

My father never talked a lot,

Just walked the block ’til all the anger locked him up

And then he’d hit.

My mother never cried a lot,

Took the punches, swallowed shock,

Until she whispered, “I’m leavin’, I’ll take the kids.”

So she did.

And I say they’re just the ones who gave me life,

But deep inside I know I’m still their child.

All these pieces that don’t fit right —

Still stitched into my smile.

⸻

Scattered ’cross my family line,

I’m so good at telling lies —

That came from my mother’s side,

Said a million to survive.

God, I have my father’s eyes,

But my sister’s when I cry…

I can run, but I can’t hide

From my family line.

⸻

I don’t wanna die yet,

But lonely roads pull victims from the soul.

I don’t wanna starve again,

Already lost in my head — I’m losin’ control.

I’m comin’ down, comin’ down,

Tryna breathe through the trauma somehow.

Family line on my back like a ghost in the house —

And I’m comin’ down…

⸻

It’s hard to put it into words,

How holidays still fucking hurt.

Watchin’ fathers spin their daughters in the snow —

And wonder what I did to deserve

Growing up with bruised trust

And hands that never learned love.

How could you hurt a little kid?

Now I flinch when people leave,

And I fear they always will.

But every scar I try to clean

Just bleeds out memories I didn’t choose —

Someone who loves you wouldn’t do this.

I was young, but not clueless.

⸻

Lost in a dream…

Ask me if you need me —

Would you leave me?

We all speak when it’s easy.

Time goes by… I try…

To keep advancing.

Pay no mind… but still

I feel abandoned.

⸻

I don’t wanna die yet,

Lonely roads carve victims in the soul.

I don’t wanna starve again,

Already drowning in my head — losing control.

I’m comin’ down, comin’ down,

Still reaching out though you ain’t around.

Family ghosts in my blood, in my voice, in my sound —

And I’m comin’ down…

⸻

Oh, all that I did just to try and undo it,

All of my pain and all your excuses —

I tried to erase it, tried to outrun it,

But maybe the truth is you helped me become this.

Share a face, share a name —

But we are not the same.

I broke the cycle you made,

Still carry weight but I ain’t chained.

I’m healing in slow frames,

Still haunted by your old ways,

But every time I fall apart

I build a better part to replace.

⸻

I don’t wanna die yet…

Lonely roads lead deeper in the soul.

I don’t wanna starve again…

But broken childhoods always take a toll.

Scattered ’cross my family line….