New Beginnings

I like to believe that I’ve grown, but in all honesty I still fall for the same lesson. Not because I’m stupid, but because it’s familiar. Knowing the ending of that lesson brings me comfort. I don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen next, no I know every second in the lesson plan. Every word, every action I see right through it. I see the blueprints and answers. In my own way I have grown, once naive to its lesson now knowing all. My comfort isn’t growth…it’s fear. Fear to start a new lesson with new endings and answers. Fear of failing that lesson, but it’s not a lesson if you don’t fail. Sadly I can’t bring myself to face failure again. Not because I don’t want to grow, but because I fear I won’t be-able to get back up. So in away this shows I have grown, grown enough to know that I need to stop being scared to fall. So…watch me fall! Again and again! Until I know all the answer to this new test that I’m about to begin! So Welcome! I’m ready to fall on my face and get back up again.