[Intro, upbeat country-rock, light drums, clean guitar]
[Verse 1, steady groove, playful delivery]
Matt’s got a key ring heavy like a prison guard
Knows every unit number, every work order card
Shortcut king, won’t take the long damn way
Cuts through the breezeway just to save half a day
He’ll tell you how it’s done before you even ask
Talk your ear clean off while he half-fixes the task
Swears by instinct, confidence, and a confident grin
Even when he’s wrong, he’s right in his head, my friend
[Pre-Chorus, build slightly]
Phone ring buzzin’ at the answering line
Tenant say the sink’s been cryin’ since ’09
Matt say “Yeah, I can get to you” calm and slow
He’s right round the corner with nowhere to go
[Chorus, bar chant, crowd response]
“I’ll be there!”
(Not right now!)
“I’ll be there!”
(Not right now!)
Fix my sink, fix my fan
Damn, ain’t you the fuckin’ maintenance man?
[Verse 2, same groove, comedic focus]
Got a whole damn truck but he won’t drive that
Takes the company golf cart, swears by that
House clean as hell, everything in line
But somethin’ always broke and he say it’s fine
Master bed, master bath, big and grand
Sleeps on the couch like it’s part of the plan
Five or six couches fillin’ the land
We just laugh and say “Man…”
[Pre-Chorus, repeat build]
He’ll explain a problem you didn’t even mention
Turn a quick fix into a full damn session
“See what happened here is…” deep in the rant
You forgot what was broke, but he still can’t
[Chorus, bar chant, louder]
“I’ll be there!”
(Not right now!)
“I’ll be there!”
(Not right now!)
Fix my sink, fix my fan
Damn, ain’t you the fuckin’ maintenance man?
[Bridge, spoken/sung, drop instruments then re-enter]
Stove clock reset, stuck on twelve again
Microwave blinkin’ like “Here we go, my friend”
Dryer don’t dry, clothes still damp
He say “It’s under warranty, I ain’t touchin’ that”
[Final Chorus, full band, shout-along]
“I’ll be there!”
(Not right now!)
“I’ll be there!”
(Not right now!)
Fix my sink, fix my fan
Damn, ain’t you the fuckin’ maintenance man?
[Outro, instruments drop, crowd chant]
(Not right now!)
(Not right now!)
Ain’t you the maintenance man?
Rooster901
