No Nephews Welcome

Uncle Dusty, hear the call,

Pack your bags, you’ve stalled too long,

Come move closer, get a job,

Near the people you adore all day long.

He loves us tons, his nieces too,

Family man through and through,

High fives flying left and right,

Dusty’s energy? Outta sight.

Gnomes, gnomes, everywhere he goes,

Tiny hats and tiny toes,

Shelf gnomes, yard gnomes, watch your home,

Dusty’s bringing gnomes galore.

Say it loud, say it proud, say it fast-er:

“blanchester is the best Chester”

His dating profile’s… one of a kind,

(He typed it himself, please be kind)

Likes: sneezing, hats, and high fives,

Loves his nieces (family pride),

Dislikes: sneezing—wait, again?

And nephews… and more nephews then.

He teases them nonstop, that’s true,

Classic Dusty thing to do.

Gnomes, gnomes, all the time,

Everywhere like a garden shrine,

Pointy hats and beards of foam,

Dusty’s heart belongs to gnomes.

Say his motto, no debate here:

“blanchester is the best Chester”

Five words that describe this dude:

High five! Cool! Fun! Silly! (Mood.)

Dustard the Mustard—full legal name,

Legend status, hall of fame.

So move on over, plant your flag,

Get a job, unpack that bag,

We’ve got space and love and room,

And probably gnomes in every room.

Uncle Dusty, sing it louder, faster—

“blanchester is the best Chester!”