[Verse 1 – soft, restrained piano, sparse percussive strings, intimate vocal delivery, close mic presence]
I practiced absence in your shape
A quiet habit I learned to make
I rewrote the edges of my skin
So nothing real could reach within
I held the glass at an angled line
To soften every break I signed
If something in me disappeared
I called it love and kept it near
[Pre-Chorus – subtle rhythmic lift, strings begin to pulse, slight harmonic tension, vocal becomes more forward and breath-supported]
There’s a pull I recognize too late
Like gravity learning my name again
[Chorus – full string section, distorted piano layered clean piano, wide vocal, doubled lead, emotional release but controlled]
I was the author of the loss
I was the author of the loss
I paid in silence for the cost
I paid in silence for the cost
What I let go without a sound
Is still the only thing I found
I bent the mirror off its line
Just to make distortion feel like mine
Now every self I used to be
Won’t look at me, won’t look at me
[Verse 2 – slightly fuller arrangement, deeper strings, subtle electronic undertone introduced, more grounded vocal tone]
I made myself less to stay with you
A quiet version I split in two
Like gravity adjusting tone
Pulling everything down to bone
You never asked me to divide
I split myself from the inside
A slow collapse I couldn’t stop
Mistaking falling for the top
[Pre-Chorus – increased rhythmic urgency, percussion becomes more defined, harmonic tension builds toward release]
It wasn’t force, it wasn’t theft
Just every boundary I left
Every boundary I left
[Chorus – fuller orchestration, stronger string swells, more layered harmonies, slightly wider stereo vocal spread]
I was the author of the loss
I was the author of the loss
I paid in silence for the cost
I paid in silence for the cost
What I let go without a sound
Is still the only thing I found
I bent the mirror off its line
Just to make distortion feel like mine
Now every self I used to be
Won’t look at me, won’t look at me
[Bridge – stripped back to piano and faint reverb strings, close vocal, almost spoken intimacy, emotional fracture point]
No equation made this right
No symmetry in what I chose
I didn’t fall—I stayed too long
Until staying became letting go
And if there’s a truth I can feel
It’s not the version I reveal
[Final Chorus – widest dynamic range, full orchestral swell, electronic undertones subtly rising underneath strings, vocal layered with harmonies and slight distortion]
I was the author of the loss
I paid in silence for the cost
What I erased to make it work
I bent the mirror off its line
Just to make distortion feel like mine
Now every self I left behind
Still knows my name, still knows my name
[Outro – minimal piano, fading string harmonics, subtle reversed reverb tail, emotional decay rather than resolution]
No force remained
Only weight I learned to call my own
Eilidhschy
