I care about you a lot and the times that we had mean so much to me. I know I’m nothing special but I gave you everything that I had to try and build something good. I put more effort and patience into you than I ever have with anyone in my life. Many times I put aside my pride and frustration and forgave you because I saw something special in you. I defended you to my friends and family when they asked what I was doing with you. But in half a year you never changed. Every time I tried to take us further you fought me every step of the way. Through all that time you lied to me, you looked for other people, you were using substances, and that’s just what I know about. You kept me separate from your family and friends and avoided meeting mine. All those things hurt me. I have no more patience. I would have been patient with you forever but you showed no intention of growing or cooperating with me. I wish I could be with you even right now but I cant be with you if it’s going to be more of the same. You talk so much about your freedom and independence but really you are stuck in your ways and isolated. You shoot yourself in the foot. I wish I could be carefree like you, run through the woods with you, make love and not worry about what any of it means. But that’s not who I am and I can’t pretend to be. There is more to life than instinct, lust, and science. There is purpose, love, and God. I don’t care what happens to me but I am trying to become the man I need to be and take responsibility and build something stable because many people look up to me and rely on me. And one day I want to build a good strong family full of love, trust, and warmth. So I need to make hard decisions like this that I really don’t want to. Reilly, you have great potential, i have seen it and that’s why I spent so long with you. You can do wonderful things and live an adventurous life without chaos and conflict. But you have to grow up, you have to let go of your trauma, and you need to first of all ask God to work in your life. He loves you and has a path prepared for you greater than anything you have ever imagined. I really hope we can have another chance in the future. I love you Reilly.
